KCC baton bearers share their journeys to help spread message of hope

Having lost her own father to suicide Diane said: “Every suicide is a tragedy that impacts family, friends and whole communities. We need everyone to know that if things don't feel right, they should not suffer in silence and instead speak to someone; and if you think someone's struggling that even the briefest of conversations can save a life."

Each baton bearer has their own reasons for taking part. For many it’s a chance to remember lost loved ones. For others, it’s a time to celebrate their own success in overcoming poor mental health and rediscovering hope.

For some it’s an opportunity to shine a light on suicide prevention work and raise awareness of the support available.

For the two KCC staff who are set to be baton bearers when the Tour comes through Maidstone it’s a combination of all three - and here they share their stories.

Before reading on, please take a moment as some content may be triggering. There’s details of where to find support at the bottom of the article.

Diane added: "My heartfelt thanks to Colin and Kirsten for sharing their experiences to help others."

Colin Jones

Colin is the Education Services Contract Manager; Co-Chair of KCC’s Mental Health Support Network.

"I’m carrying the baton for the journey I’ve been on, for the people I support and the people that have found themselves in the same situation I’ve been in, which I managed to come through.

I was at an extremely low point. We were in lockdown and I was feeling very alone. I just happened to see an article on the local news about Head in the Game football sessions in Maidstone. I knew I had to do something so I signed up for the sessions but nearly didn’t go. I thought what am I trying to do playing football again after all these years? Am I going to make a fool of myself? Was I going to talk to people? It took me ages to drive to the first session. Then it took me what felt like forever to get out of the car at the other end. But as soon as I got there I knew it was what I needed. I didn’t know anyone I was going to meet; didn’t know how much of myself I would need to show. But there wasn’t any pressure.

Kirsten Wood

Kirsten is the Programme Support Apprentice from the Financial Hardship Team.

"I’m carrying the baton for a very personal reason. I lost my lovely dad in 2021. He sadly took his own life. He had mental health struggles. We think he was bi-polar. He also got diagnosed in 2019 with bowel and throat cancer. No matter how hard we tried, he wouldn’t go ahead with treatment. He was afraid of the future - that surgery would leave him with life-changing disabilities.

He told me he was suicidal. He told me three weeks before he did it and I didn’t know what to do. He told me not to tell anyone. That was really hard for me. I really wanted to but was worried if I told my mum it would make things worse and make him more likely to do it.

My dad was 56. He wanted to deal with his own problems. He was too proud. He didn’t want anyone involved.

It was quite a shock when we got the call. We just didn’t believe it. We thought it was a mistake. We thought they had got the wrong person. It was like something exploded. It was really upsetting and I blamed myself. I know I can’t change the past but I wish I could have done more to help him. I think about him every day. It is difficult for me.

So, I’m doing Baton of Hope for my dad but I am also doing it for other men as well to raise awareness and to encourage them to reach out.  I’m also doing it because I don’t want anyone to be in the situation I was in because it absolutely broke me. It’s thanks to my mum that I’m here today.

I wish I had known about advice and training on how to speak to someone who was suicidal. Looking back, I feel this would have made a huge difference to my dad’s situation, and it would have given me piece of mind as well. There is a possibility that it might not have made a difference, but the regret I feel from not reaching out at the time haunts me every single day.  I have been robbed of the person who was more than just a dad to me. To me my dad was my friend, my brother and my confidant. Nothing will be the same again.

I urge you to get help if you or someone you know is feeling suicidal. Don’t wait to get help - and if they tell you not to get them help, ignore them, because it’s a sign that they are considering suicide. Once they are gone, that is it."